Park Ranger Humorist Gifts

Sign - Do not feed the bears. Bear - 'Those signs have caused a substantial reduction in weight, a lowering of blood pressure and a significant drop in cholesterol...'

Bitchbark Canoe

'What the... MOM! This isn't deer! It's a yucky tourist again!!'

Man painting over a 'You are here' sign.

"You do realize you can't take that one home."

'He just burst into my campsite, and broke my banjo!'

"The note in the bottle said someone's stranded here, but where is he?"

'Look at that! Peanuts!'

"Let's hear some of that scout master wisdom now, sir!"

"I do miss trees but I don't miss the raking."

Dog tries to obey No Dog sign

Garden pond: mosquito breeding ground

'I hate to say I told you so, Larry, but that's why you check your car for bears before you put on your seatbelt.'

'Congratulations! Our yard's been declared a national wilderness area!'

Hiking sign - Stop, pause, play, skip forward, skip back

The Canoga Forest - coming soon: The Conoga Desert.

Even for a mountain goat he's good.

'We're a protected species and an endangered speices, but when I see a person, I don't know if he's protecting us or endangering us.'

'Surely they don't expect us to carry around THAT sort of money?'

Danger Falling Leaves

Malfunctioning geyser

'Break glass in case of tangled antlers.'

"Greta, look! The first dysfunctional family of winter!"

"If the meeting goes on for longer than scheuled...I'm prepared!"

'You sure complain a lot for someone who says he loves nature.'

'Hmm ... wonder how much ivory fetches these days.'

LOOK BHIND U!

'Some idiot's pulled the plug out!'

'Click it or ticket.'

"Perhaps I should have warned you...They really don't like wholemeal bread."

Rain Forest

"True, it is 'organic.' It's also a dead squirrel!"