Amateur Park Ranger Gifts

"Damn it! If it's not the squirrels getting into the bird feeder, it's old man Walters!"

Bitchbark Canoe

'What the... MOM! This isn't deer! It's a yucky tourist again!!'

"You do realize you can't take that one home."

'He just burst into my campsite, and broke my banjo!'

"You should be sniffed, and often, by someone who knows how."

Piracy on a boating lake

How about going easy on the carbs

Brian's canine Tread-o-Sod saved him the trouble of cleaning up after Mitzi.

"Boy, that's what I call a maze."

"Let's hear some of that scout master wisdom now, sir!"

'Look at that! Peanuts!'

'Will you please stop feeding the pigeons?!'

"This is so fun - I've been wagging my tail so much my cheeks hurt!"

"I do miss trees but I don't miss the raking."

Ralph spent his Sundays in the park gathering nuts.

Beaver tower

Dog tries to obey No Dog sign

'Sorry, but I'm arresting you for being in possession of an endangered wild coho salmon.'

'I hate to say I told you so, Larry, but that's why you check your car for bears before you put on your seatbelt.'

'Congratulations! Our yard's been declared a national wilderness area!'

'Hey, want to go to the beach ...I mean ...the birdbath?'

Garden pond: mosquito breeding ground

Hiking sign - Stop, pause, play, skip forward, skip back

"Nice try, but I know a squirrel in a bird suit when I see one."

Even for a mountain goat he's good.

The Canoga Forest - coming soon: The Conoga Desert.

Devil's Tower Park. Ernie, this nice ranger has offered to show us the basement gift shop.

"Are we done yet? ... Because I'm turning around now."

'We're a protected species and an endangered speices, but when I see a person, I don't know if he's protecting us or endangering us.'

'Surely they don't expect us to carry around THAT sort of money?'

Danger Falling Leaves

Malfunctioning geyser

Life's a Bench.

"Ma'am! Stop spoiling the birds!"