Seasonal Park Ranger Gifts

"What's that smell, girl? Is it spring?"

Bitchbark Canoe

'What the... MOM! This isn't deer! It's a yucky tourist again!!'

"You do realize you can't take that one home."

'He just burst into my campsite, and broke my banjo!'

"You should be sniffed, and often, by someone who knows how."

Piracy on a boating lake

How about going easy on the carbs

Bear Hugging Season Open

"I do miss trees but I don't miss the raking."

'Look at that! Peanuts!'

"This is so fun - I've been wagging my tail so much my cheeks hurt!"

'Will you please stop feeding the pigeons?!'

"Let's hear some of that scout master wisdom now, sir!"

"Boy, that's what I call a maze."

Beaver tower

Dog tries to obey No Dog sign

'Congratulations! Our yard's been declared a national wilderness area!'

Garden pond: mosquito breeding ground

'I hate to say I told you so, Larry, but that's why you check your car for bears before you put on your seatbelt.'

Christmas Pets

Hiking sign - Stop, pause, play, skip forward, skip back

"Nice try, but I know a squirrel in a bird suit when I see one."

Devil's Tower Park. Ernie, this nice ranger has offered to show us the basement gift shop.

'We're a protected species and an endangered speices, but when I see a person, I don't know if he's protecting us or endangering us.'

The Canoga Forest - coming soon: The Conoga Desert.

Even for a mountain goat he's good.

"Well, it might not work but at least it smells bad."

'Surely they don't expect us to carry around THAT sort of money?'

Danger Falling Leaves

Life's a Bench.

"Ma'am! Stop spoiling the birds!"

Malfunctioning geyser

'May the forest be with you.'

'Hmm ... wonder how much ivory fetches these days.'