Quirky Pal Pillows

...If we have to hang around together, don't act like a nut.

Backfire

Carbon Dating.

"I love you, you big fool."

'All I want for Valentine's Day is a Greek fisherman's cap.'

"Let's get married, Miss Harris, and have 2.8 children!"

'I know how much you like holding hands, so I brought you a box of them..'

'I like scientists: They are genuinely interested in every mundane thing we do and keep detailed records...'

Your spirit animal is a balloon poodle? My spirit animal is a balloon poodle!

"Excuse me ma'am, may I help you cross the road so that I can get the answer to this dumb joke my friend keeps telling?"

"Our bond is stronger because we chose each other."

"Lap fish..."

"What? Don't yuck my yum!"

“He’s timid, very shy. I rescued him from some wacko who tried to steal Christmas.”

"He was a dog person, I was a cat person, the answer was a ferret."

'Okay, I see it now...lame in the third hind leg on the left side!'

"I have such strong feelers for you."

"Don't be a sentimental fool, Harker!"

Giraffe Selfie

'Promise me you'll say Yes / No / Don't know ...'

It's not what's outside that interests me. It's what's inside!

Flowers? My girl prefers a dead mouse!

Woman keeping a chicken in her room for fresh eggs

Penguin Remote

"The saving grace of living with someone who has AD/HD is that any arguments you have over it never last very long."

Upper East Side Dog Park

"I see a girl, I see a marriage, I see her not understanding you, I see a beer belly. Do you want me to go on?"

"And that's why you go on safari."

"I've already made arrangements to be flushed down the toilet."

'He won't eat his lettuce until I've washed it five times. I'm sure his OCD is getting worse!'

Carbon Dating

"This does not make us friends."

Henrietta was never one to conform to society's labels. She preferred to think of herself as an 'off-Rhode lsland Red'...

Banana Smoothie

"I did what you asked and got rid of my white mice."