Quirky Pals Pillows

"This does not make us friends."

Heart surgeon tastooing patients heart with "Love".

Cat Towels

"O.K. I'm just feeding in your personal details for a suitable match..."

"He was a sea rescue."

"I guess opposites do attract. She's a real shaker, and he's such a grind."

'All I want for Valentine's Day is a Greek fisherman's cap.'

Inappropriate Snowmen

Advanced footsie

"Our bond is stronger because we chose each other."

"Excuse me ma'am, may I help you cross the road so that I can get the answer to this dumb joke my friend keeps telling?"

'I like scientists: They are genuinely interested in every mundane thing we do and keep detailed records...'

A Prickly Pair

He was a nerd. But he was her nerd.

'Don't blame me -- You're the one who had to have more personal space!'

'We met through a radiocarbon dating service.'

It says they're 120 million years old, enjoyed long walks along the tar pit, and loved nibbling on rodents together. Carbon-dating.com

"Leon, do you think it's all psychological?"

Penguin Remote

"Being with you is just getting too surreal for me, Larry."

Giraffe Selfie

'Sure, but will you still love me when I bite off your head and eat it?'

"I've already made arrangements to be flushed down the toilet."

'He's narrating it, I just know it.'

"Well, at first I didn't like him. But then his creepiness just grew on me."

"It's General Douglas MacArthur."

'Here's one I made earlier.'

Face Mask Romance

"Don't tell him anything."

'That's one of those May-December love affairs. He's 251 years old, and she can't be a day over 135!'

Prison Romance.

'Did you fart, sweetie?'

'Who has the rings and prenup?'

Graffitti.

'He has his pet and I have mine.'