Quirky Friends Pillows

Taking goldfish for a walk.

Heart surgeon tastooing patients heart with "Love".

Backfire

The practical psychopath

'I like scientists: They are genuinely interested in every mundane thing we do and keep detailed records...'

"Excuse me ma'am, may I help you cross the road so that I can get the answer to this dumb joke my friend keeps telling?"

Your spirit animal is a balloon poodle? My spirit animal is a balloon poodle!

Giraffe Selfie

"The saving grace of living with someone who has AD/HD is that any arguments you have over it never last very long."

Penguin Remote

"This does not make us friends."

"I've already made arrangements to be flushed down the toilet."

Celebrity Phrenologist.

"Sometimes I'm sorry I ever ran away with you."

"He's a fussy eater."

"Just pick one!! We're already late!!"

"The words 'complete screwball' are not in my vocabulary."

Live Flower/Vase Flower - 'Julia?'

If it's any consolation, you burned the bejeezus out of his finger.

Sinlge-white-male seeking single-female who enjoys, silence, long long walks, and scorpions.

'Well, fancy meeting you here.'

"My Lord, you said you'd walk with me, but I only see one set of footprints."

Love is Love

"When life gives me lemons, I know twenty-six ways to kill a man with a lemon."

'Ned taps his pencil, Jill hums and Bill whistles - form a band, guys, and take it on the road!'

"It's our fault. We put out milk & cookies and now we can't get rid of him."

'Please! Take these and let my buddy go!!'

'Stop worrying, he said he's bring his new friend he's met recently.'

"Why can't you just read in bed?"

For the last time, Barb, I'm not ignoring you., I'm just eating.

"Because you always do that with your fingers."

"Do you know how distracting it is when you spin the chamber on that revolver?"

"Let's flip for it, heads I win, tails, you lose."

"Just between you and me, clowns creep me out, too."

Have you seen me?