Quirky Narrative Fan Gifts

Gloria's life had been uneventful - until her 40th birthday, when her arms changed into swans.

'Ignore it! It's just some of the local kids trying to get in for free.'

Thomas Keneally

'...and when the wolves moved house I was adopted by beetles.'

"Don't forget to rate us on stable-BnB."

Meet the author Billy Bovine.

"We understand you wish to report a crime Madam? I'm Inspector La Garde and this is my able assistant Defective Constable Wallis."

"Your article on the safe storage of combustibles is quite good, but I think you should leave out the part about the wicked witch setting you on fire."

God's Double Whammy.

"It's the super - he says a lot of short American fiction has been clogging the pipes in the basement."

Dragon roasts a chicken impaled on a knight's sword.

'The bartender referred me to a shoe shine boy, and the shoe shine boy referred me to you.'

'Ignore me, it's just my nut allergy.'

News Celeb Divorce: Long-suffering wife tells us of abusive husband, In tomorrow's news - dignified husband tells us of vile grabbing wife.

For several minutes, Norma's body is possessed by the spirit of her dead washing machine,

"Late, as usual."

Mikado characters

'You cant use the menu like everyone else?'

"God I miss the good old days when you could huff and puff anywhere you damn well pleased."

'He bears keeping an eye on.'

"Why not have a star-nosed mole guide your sleigh tonight?"

"No, John. You know I'll only end up hurting you."

Daniel Defoe

Anne Enright

'Whilst you were in the toilet, they descended into the underworld.'

"You've got a lot of great books here. Which are your favorite?" "Oh, I like the blue ones."

On Vixen: Confessions of a Naughty Reindeer