Eccentric Narrative Fan Gifts

'...and when the wolves moved house I was adopted by beetles.'

"Too bad about old Ainsworth. Published and published, but perished all the same."

"It's a heck of a tale...and well told, but we don't publish resumes."

"I'm not weird I'm a 'person of weirdness'."

Use your imagination.

'Ignore it! It's just some of the local kids trying to get in for free.'

'Like it? I LOVED it! The narrative gripped me from the first sentence and didn't let go until the final, heart-stopping page! And the CHARACTERS! Without question, Harris, this is the finest year-end financial report you've ever written!'

Thomas Keneally

'Mummy, the review of this book was more interesting.'

"Personally, I of course loved Uncle Clarence, but Mr. Quibbles wants to say a few things."

"Don't forget to rate us on stable-BnB."

"Pat's independently wealthy and dependably entertaining."

God's Double Whammy.

Toni Morrison

"Your toilet water over ice, sir. And how is the homework?"

Crocodile Shoes

The Phyllis Diller Collection

"Tell us again — a little less graphic."

Gloria's life had been uneventful - until her 40th birthday, when her arms changed into swans.

"You know, it's a picture book. Needless to say, it doesn't have a lot of narrative scope."

Fresh Blood In Politics

Believe or not but before he became a famous artist he was a shoe salesman.

'Read me the one about the three homeless little pigs.'

Great literary festival heckles.

"Come at me, Bro!"

'Stay back from the edge. Remember what happened to the last angel that fell.'

"Ok, here he comes, remember the story, I've had a bad asthma attack..."

The Doomed Character

"He's nuts. She's nuts. All three young ones are nuts. The dog is nuts. And the old lady upstairs is nuts, too."

"I love my unreliable narrator. You?"

"Whatever you do don't get onto the topic of his wacky socks."