Old-time Narrative Fan Gifts

I was trying to rob e the stagecoach and somehow got signed up for a credit card account!

"Too bad about old Ainsworth. Published and published, but perished all the same."

The Fourth Little Pig

"It's a heck of a tale...and well told, but we don't publish resumes."

Saint George and the Drag Queen

Audio Books

'Yes, all at once!'

"Bram Stoker's Bambi"

'Dad's bedtime story was decent, but the special effects were non-existent.'

Little Buttercup HMS Pinafore

Ant story: 'and so they worked all day and they worked all night and then they worked some more, the end.'

Moby Dick

This side is the gag reel.

"I'm sad to hear everybody lived happily ever after. That means no sequels to this story."

Malaprop Man! Adventures. Malaprop Man! Where have you been? At a stupor her comet confection! Did many of your fellow heroes show up? We had a great turnabout! Backman and the Incredible Bulk were there! So was Caption Americ, the Flush, Wander Woman and Plasterman! Very impressive. Who was the most popular with the fans? I think I was the main distraction! I have no doubt at all about that!

'Like it? I LOVED it! The narrative gripped me from the first sentence and didn't let go until the final, heart-stopping page! And the CHARACTERS! Without question, Harris, this is the finest year-end financial report you've ever written!'

"Goodness! These tomatoes look so good!"

"At lease we managed to stop the leak before the water reached 'E' Deck."

'Mummy, the review of this book was more interesting.'

Ask A Silly Question.

Thomas Keneally

Mom dwarves.

'I'm a writer.' - 'What a coincidence, I'm a reader.'

"Oh, you haven’t seen holiday drama ‘till you’ve met our little family."

Romulus and Remus

"You don't think this could be construed as ironic do you?"

"Well, how was I supposed to know you were saving them for something special?"

Men discussing a book on a chat show

'He's narrating it, I just know it.'

The Quack Quack Diaries: Quack Quack Writes A Top Ten Hit

'Hello room service - can you come and tuck me in and read me a story please'

Proceedings of the club

Toni Morrison

Rudy, I loved your memoir. It was fascinating. The way you overcame huge odds to invent the computer. How you went on to protect us from government surveillance. You know none of it's true. The way you swore yourself to humility. People so want to believe a good story.

Bertolt Brecht