Old-time Narrative Fan Gifts

"Too bad about old Ainsworth. Published and published, but perished all the same."

"It's a heck of a tale...and well told, but we don't publish resumes."

The Fourth Little Pig

Saint George and the Drag Queen

'Yes, all at once!'

Audio Books

Little Buttercup HMS Pinafore

"Bram Stoker's Bambi"

'Dad's bedtime story was decent, but the special effects were non-existent.'

Ant story: 'and so they worked all day and they worked all night and then they worked some more, the end.'

Moby Dick

"I'm sad to hear everybody lived happily ever after. That means no sequels to this story."

'Like it? I LOVED it! The narrative gripped me from the first sentence and didn't let go until the final, heart-stopping page! And the CHARACTERS! Without question, Harris, this is the finest year-end financial report you've ever written!'

Ask A Silly Question.

"Goodness! These tomatoes look so good!"

"At lease we managed to stop the leak before the water reached 'E' Deck."

'Mummy, the review of this book was more interesting.'

Thomas Keneally

'I'm a writer.' - 'What a coincidence, I'm a reader.'

'He's narrating it, I just know it.'

Men discussing a book on a chat show

'Hello room service - can you come and tuck me in and read me a story please'

Romulus and Remus

"Oh, you haven’t seen holiday drama ‘till you’ve met our little family."

"Well, how was I supposed to know you were saving them for something special?"

Toni Morrison

God's Double Whammy.

Pirates find out treasure is a piggy bank.