Old-time Stories Fan Gifts

'But, Marshal, if I'da built the gallows any higher, ol' Mad Dog here mighta got seriously hurt!'

The Fourth Little Pig

Saint George and the Drag Queen

'Yes, all at once!'

"Bram Stoker's Bambi"

Little Buttercup HMS Pinafore

Alice in Wonderland: The Queen Turns into a Pack of Cards.

Thomas Hardy

"Only one pailful? Did they have water restrictions like we do?"

Moby Dick

"At lease we managed to stop the leak before the water reached 'E' Deck."

Ask A Silly Question.

The hare and the tortoise - the rematch.

Romulus and Remus

"Expedition log #57: Like the rest of the week, I expect today will be another uneventful day."

"Well, how was I supposed to know you were saving them for something special?"

"CBD… oil… CBD… oil…"

'Tarzan of the Kangaroos'

"So it was a performance enhancing drug."

Pirates find out treasure is a piggy bank.

"Pop, tell me again how Jazz came up the river from New Orleans."

'Well, apparently your mother was right. Your face is finally stuck that way.'

'It's an unauthorized biography of the Chief.'

'Mirror mirror on the wall who's the fairest one of all considering her age?'

Frog Prince

"Have you tried unplugging and plugging it back in?"

"Boy, am I out of breath. I had to run crying 'Wee, wee, wee!' all the way home."

"I crawl that I may savor the richness and diversity of people and places along the way."

Peter

'I know how you can get him to notice you.'