Old-school Literature Fan Gifts

Books*. *Batteries not included.

"You're going to hate yourself."

"Meet The Author"

Accelerated reading. Slowpoke reading,

Victor Hugo

"So, what brings you in today, Mr. Brooks? High anxiety again?"

Tut and Carmen.

First Novels.

Captain Ahab searched for a vaccine.

The Dorrie Decimal System

"Well, what did you expect? They were both missing vital organs."

"Now I really hate poetry."

Blue Stockings

"For the last time stupid, you're tin man, you are not by any leap of the imagination, anything like Iron Man!"

"No writers were harmed or mistreated in the preparation of this story."

Shakespeare does stand-up comedy in the round.

Voltaire

Papageno from The Magic Flute

'He likes to power nap.'

"My novel is not a doorstop!"

"Now Playing: One of those Jane Austen movies."

"The Hound of the Baskervilles, Watson--I took him walkies!"

The Little Search Engine Who Could: 'I think I can...I think I can...'

Not to be a motion picture. Will remain just a book.

It's Dostoevsky. It's Melville. It's Flaubert. But it doesn't dance.

Out To Lurch

The Grasshopper's Feast: A Prophetic Vision

"It turns out everyone here is self-published."

John Bunyan

Voice coming from wooden horse: 'Quiet Fanshaw! If this hostile take-over bid is going to work we've got to get right inside the boardroom.'

The Demise of Tinkerbell

'So Captain Ahab, I put it to you that you were deliberately stalking my client!'

Joan Hickson

"Hey, it's not all fire and brimstone anymore—one of our nine circles is even smoke-free."

Pets are reading the book 'Animal Farm'.