Old-school Literature Fan T-Shirts

"You're going to hate yourself."

"Meet The Author"

"So, what brings you in today, Mr. Brooks? High anxiety again?"

Accelerated reading. Slowpoke reading,

First Novels.

Tut and Carmen.

Captain Ahab searched for a vaccine.

The Dorrie Decimal System

"Well, what did you expect? They were both missing vital organs."

'He likes to power nap.'

"No writers were harmed or mistreated in the preparation of this story."

Shakespeare does stand-up comedy in the round.

Voltaire

"For the last time stupid, you're tin man, you are not by any leap of the imagination, anything like Iron Man!"

Papageno from The Magic Flute

"Now I really hate poetry."

Blue Stockings

"My novel is not a doorstop!"

"Now Playing: One of those Jane Austen movies."

Voice coming from wooden horse: 'Quiet Fanshaw! If this hostile take-over bid is going to work we've got to get right inside the boardroom.'

"It turns out everyone here is self-published."

John Bunyan

Out To Lurch

Not to be a motion picture. Will remain just a book.

The Grasshopper's Feast: A Prophetic Vision

"The Hound of the Baskervilles, Watson--I took him walkies!"

The Little Search Engine Who Could: 'I think I can...I think I can...'

The Demise of Tinkerbell

It's Dostoevsky. It's Melville. It's Flaubert. But it doesn't dance.

'So Captain Ahab, I put it to you that you were deliberately stalking my client!'

Joan Hickson

Pets are reading the book 'Animal Farm'.

"Hey, it's not all fire and brimstone anymore—one of our nine circles is even smoke-free."

"I'm in a catch-23 situation."