Retro Story Fan Gifts

"Expedition log #57: Like the rest of the week, I expect today will be another uneventful day."

'The History Channel is all reruns.'

"No Timmy, I don't think your pencil has system requirments or upgrades you can download from the internet."

Meet Me Outside St. Louis

'Yes, all at once!'

Before the Internet

Early Adopter...Early Opt-Outer

Gramophone dreams of mp3 player.

'We need you to settle a bet -- was 'Twilight Zone' a sitcom or a documentary?'

'I'm too hot to trot.'

Old rocker.

'Hey...remember T.V.?

"Only one pailful? Did they have water restrictions like we do?"

An old-time engineer enters the cockpit on a flight.

The perfect choice for president?... Stephen Colbert!

'It's O.K. Charlie - you can relax. The T.V. repairman said, 'it can be fixed!''

"Do you do much walking?"

Drive in movies.

"Remember you told me to put my client list on my computer."

'No Bonanza, no Gunsmoke, no Led Zeppelin... what a sad state of affairs this is! I'm glad I'm not in your generation...'

Lady throws dart to decide which soap opera she's going to watch.

'Could you pass me my - oh thankyou.'

Shirley Temple...The later years.. - 'Animal crackers in my poop...'

Mom dwarves.

Punk rocker passing punk codger in street.

"The next song is for all you unreconstructed commies, who are still in love with their tractors."

'Thanks for coming here today for my presentation, '10 cutting edge trends in the future of business analysis.' Copies of my talk will be available in the lobby in VHS and Betamax formats...'

'Business was slow, slower than a fat tortoise with a limp. The phone hadn't rung for so long I thought it must be out of order. The new competition was good, very good. Who was this 'Google' guy?'

'Sir, we need to upgrade our technology. We've used up our last roll of ticker tape.'

"Now that I've invented it, I have-this odd compulsion to hold it in my hand whenever I go and glance at it incessantly."

"CBD… oil… CBD… oil…"

'I just found out my vintage Roy Rogers lunch box is worth more than my 401k.'

We choose to send a cow to the moon and do the other things. Not because they are hard, but because it'll be darn funny!

"I just don't know what we'd have done without our subscription these past 25 years."

'Tarzan of the Kangaroos'