Retro Story Lovers Gifts

Jerome Higgins, World Champion of boring people to death.

"The good old days of eating the washing off the line are all gone methinks: The farmer has bought an electric dryer..."

"10th Anniversary Woodstock Reunion'

Mary Tyler Moore: Spot the Difference

"Only one pailful? Did they have water restrictions like we do?"

Fossil record player.

"If she thinks I'm just gonna come running on home, wagging my tail behind me..."

Colonial Larrysburg.

"This woman's lib is getting beyond a joke!"

"All this online learning sort of makes you miss the head lice days, huh?"

'Each one is signed and numbered.'

"D'you remember caramel before it all became 'salted?'"

Groovy Baby

Old Book Smell

Young Elvis

"Yes, we do fix phones. But, what is that?"

"I think you're suffering from nostalgia, Mr. Prentice."

“Hold on—wait until those people are out of the way.”

"Expedition log #57: Like the rest of the week, I expect today will be another uneventful day."

"You must be patient, Mrs. Wast fall. Rome wasn't built in a day, you know."

Welcome to a parallel universe. It's like 50 years ago, man. Coffee costs a quarter, tie-dye is groovy, there is a draft. Lots of differences: Free love, man. Corporations are evil. And some similarities. Joy is a new 8-track player. Shut yer #@$% yapper!

Too young for the sixties, too squeamish for the seventies, too unambitious for the eighties, too technophobic for the 90s, too poor for the '00s, too old for the 'teens."

"It's a sad state of affairs when Lever House begins to seem like a warm old friend."

In the eighties, Americans knew how to be Americans. Big cars. Big radios. Big hair. Everything was big. Unfortunately, I was so buff that all my huge stuff looked tiny in comparison. So I would loan my stuff to the skinniest, wimpiest kid I could find. Hold this. Let me reminisce vicariously through you. (Sigh.) Those were the days. Is it working?

Hippie Edibles Co.

"Late Jurassic is so Retro..."

F&E International. I miss the days when the import/export business was easy come/easy go.

"The record player is skipping again."

"I love blue Martinis. It's like the fifties and the nineties all mixed up together."

Phantom of Casablanca

'I miss the great depression.'

'Tarzan of the Kangaroos'

60's GoGo Girl...Past/60's GoGo Girl...Present.

Mangle

'Life is like a box of chocolate laxatives!' - Forest Grump