Narrative Enthusiast Gifts

'Like it? I LOVED it! The narrative gripped me from the first sentence and didn't let go until the final, heart-stopping page! And the CHARACTERS! Without question, Harris, this is the finest year-end financial report you've ever written!'

"Too bad about old Ainsworth. Published and published, but perished all the same."

Arabian Nights - Alnaschar and the Basket of Glass

Angela Carter

Toni Morrison

"It's true that there IS an interest in 'real life' stories..."

"I know she's asleep, but I just got to the good part of the story!"

Great literary festival heckles.

'No no no! Throw down your hair!'

'Read me the one about the three homeless little pigs.'

'Mummy, the review of this book was more interesting.'

'He's been at it for six months, and he still can't think of a pseudonym.'

Accountant Bed-Time Stories

'We found it entertaining, yet somewhat unfocused.'

'Yes! After eight months hard graft it's finished, now onto Chapter Two...'

"Have you considered writing this story in the third monkey rather than the first monkey?"

"Your life's story lacks a protagonist."

"It almost never pays t ask you to elaborate, Sadie."

Rudy, I loved your memoir. It was fascinating. The way you overcame huge odds to invent the computer. How you went on to protect us from government surveillance. You know none of it's true. The way you swore yourself to humility. People so want to believe a good story.

"The key to a good story is to give the protagonist lots of challenges."

"It's a heck of a tale...and well told, but we don't publish resumes."

"Tell us again — a little less graphic."

Unreliable Narrator

"Relax. You're a famous author - no one expects you to talk about anything other than yourself."

'Spinach: The Prequel'

"I'm just a simple man preceded by an inordinately complex reputation."

"You know, it's a picture book. Needless to say, it doesn't have a lot of narrative scope."

"I love my unreliable narrator. You?"

I should be a writer when I grow up...

"Do you see yourself becoming a movie in five years?"

"Meet The Author"

Victor Hugo

Thomas Mann.

Accelerated reading. Slowpoke reading,

Nathaniel Hawthorne