Narrative Enthusiast T-Shirts

'Like it? I LOVED it! The narrative gripped me from the first sentence and didn't let go until the final, heart-stopping page! And the CHARACTERS! Without question, Harris, this is the finest year-end financial report you've ever written!'

"Too bad about old Ainsworth. Published and published, but perished all the same."

Arabian Nights - Alnaschar and the Basket of Glass

Angela Carter

Toni Morrison

"It's true that there IS an interest in 'real life' stories..."

"I know she's asleep, but I just got to the good part of the story!"

Great literary festival heckles.

'No no no! Throw down your hair!'

'Read me the one about the three homeless little pigs.'

'Mummy, the review of this book was more interesting.'

'He's been at it for six months, and he still can't think of a pseudonym.'

'We found it entertaining, yet somewhat unfocused.'

'Yes! After eight months hard graft it's finished, now onto Chapter Two...'

"Have you considered writing this story in the third monkey rather than the first monkey?"

"Your life's story lacks a protagonist."

"It almost never pays t ask you to elaborate, Sadie."

"The key to a good story is to give the protagonist lots of challenges."

"It's a heck of a tale...and well told, but we don't publish resumes."

"Tell us again — a little less graphic."

Unreliable Narrator

"Relax. You're a famous author - no one expects you to talk about anything other than yourself."

'Spinach: The Prequel'

"I'm just a simple man preceded by an inordinately complex reputation."

"You know, it's a picture book. Needless to say, it doesn't have a lot of narrative scope."

"I love my unreliable narrator. You?"

I should be a writer when I grow up...

"Do you see yourself becoming a movie in five years?"

"Meet The Author"

Thomas Mann.

Nathaniel Hawthorne

Accelerated reading. Slowpoke reading,

'To most people, 1984 is just a novel; around here it's our instruction manual.'

The Dorrie Decimal System

Blue Stockings