Narrative Aficionado T-Shirts

'In lieu of a Christmas bonus, I'm going to read you a story.'

Mike (The Situation) is rumored to have written the original manuscript for his best-selling memoir entirely out of bronzer.

"Too bad about old Ainsworth. Published and published, but perished all the same."

"It's a heck of a tale...and well told, but we don't publish resumes."

Edgar Allen Poe

'Look! The new long awaited, highly anticipated but ultimately disappointing novel by that guy you like.'

King Henry and his Cheshire bride

Trilby - 'The old studio'.

"I'm just saying. This would be even MORE romantic if we couldn't see in the dark."

Stephen Spender.

'Don't worry, you're safe. I started my diet today.'

Gunter Grass

'I know we're inchworms, but let's get into the spirit of this! Change is good!'

'It's a novel based on a movie adapted from a magazine article that was inspired by a video game.'

Meet the author - celebrity autobiographies,

Junk art/ food/ tv/ music/ amusements/ novels/ views/ life.

Archeologist Deciphers Limerick Heiroglyphs

Treasure Island Book.

"No chips, but I did snag the new Hiaasen."

Mantis Love

Günter Grass

"Tracey, this is Gene. He also read the Nancy Reagan book in unbound galleys."

'I'll blurb you if you'll blurb me.'

"You have no idea what it's like to be a 'just between you and me' person in a 'just between you and I' world."

"He was a big man, but he moved like a cat."

Noel Coward.

Tesseract of the D'Urbervilles.

Ironing Punctuation

"Wait, wait, back up, back up. Who the #!@! is George Orwell?"

My Literary Influences

'I can hold a match to his notebook.'

Fyodor Dostoevsky

'He speaks for our entire generation. Pity he's such a bore...'

Trilby - 'The sweet melodic phrase.'

I'm currently working on my autobiography. Would you care to help make page 327 interesting?