Fictional Enthusiast Gifts

'This guy REALLY leads a sheltered life- he lists Santa as a reference.'

I should be a writer when I grow up...

"Too bad about old Ainsworth. Published and published, but perished all the same."

"Meet The Author"

Nathaniel Hawthorne

"It's a heck of a tale...and well told, but we don't publish resumes."

Accelerated reading. Slowpoke reading,

Victor Hugo

Thomas Mann.

First Novels.

'To most people, 1984 is just a novel; around here it's our instruction manual.'

The Dorrie Decimal System

'He likes to power nap.'

"Well, what did you expect? They were both missing vital organs."

King Henry and his Cheshire bride

Blue Stockings

'Look! The new long awaited, highly anticipated but ultimately disappointing novel by that guy you like.'

"I got super baked in the shire and accidentally recruited these four little weirdos for the most important mission of all time."

"For the last time stupid, you're tin man, you are not by any leap of the imagination, anything like Iron Man!"

Voltaire

Television Readers.

"Now I really hate poetry."

"No writers were harmed or mistreated in the preparation of this story."

'Me, I don't spend my pocket money: I hoard it...'

"I'm not here to slay you. I'm here to talk to you about diversifying your investment portfolio."

"My novel is not a doorstop!"

Fairy Library - Frontispiece to Jack and the Beanstalk

"If you really want independence, you should get into contract law."

Not to be a motion picture. Will remain just a book.

"No Frodo, we are still many leagues from Mordor. This is from a wildfire by I-5 west of Bakersfield."

John Bunyan

Silence of the Chickens...

"It turns out everyone here is self-published."

The Grasshopper's Feast: A Prophetic Vision

ET Mishap