Fictional World Enthusiast Gifts

"Do you have any get well cards for characters on soap operas?"

I should be a writer when I grow up...

In the future, human thought will enter an age of clarity and purity never before dreamed of.

THE PIED PIPER OF GRAMERCY PARK

Swan Fairy Tales

Victor Hugo

"Meet the author"

'That's not really what I meant by 'let your hair down', Rapunzel.'

Nathaniel Hawthorne

Thomas Mann.

A fairy with wand and crown in pink tutu

'To most people, 1984 is just a novel; around here it's our instruction manual.'

"Well, what did you expect? They were both missing vital organs."

Television Readers.

"You and your, 'why bother to learn another language. Everyone in the known universe speaks, Zarconian'!"

'Me, I don't spend my pocket money: I hoard it...'

"I got super baked in the shire and accidentally recruited these four little weirdos for the most important mission of all time."

'Are you made of sugar?'

A Fairytale Update

"Once upon a time, there was a princess who wasn't about to take anyone's sh*t."

"I'm not here to slay you. I'm here to talk to you about diversifying your investment portfolio."

'Einsteiners.'

'Look! The new long awaited, highly anticipated but ultimately disappointing novel by that guy you like.'

Dragon Hair-dryer.

Fairy Library - Frontispiece to Jack and the Beanstalk

"If I can't ask for more wishes, how about more genies?"

"We're pleased to announce that your company has shrewdly traded a cow for some magic beans." some ma

Where are they now?: Office of Management & Budget - Grumpy.

ET Mishap

"Actually, it is a bad time — I’m rushing to get the kids out of the oven."

"If you really want independence, you should get into contract law."

"My, grandma, what a big nose you have! Let's take a little off the sides."

"No Frodo, we are still many leagues from Mordor. This is from a wildfire by I-5 west of Bakersfield."

The Mouse Princess

Silence of the Chickens...