Quirky Fiction Fan Gifts

"It's the super - he says a lot of short American fiction has been clogging the pipes in the basement."

"Me Tarzan, you Jane, this Cheetah, my gimp."

'I didn't dedicate my book, A Lifetime of Wine Tasting, to my 3 ex-wives and nine kids, because they made it possible. I did it because they made it necessary.'

"Welcome to Off-Off-Off Broadway."

Molecules You Ought to be Aware of.

"Don't shave it. It gives your face character."

Odd Angles,a monthly strip on coarse angling.

Introducing...Anagraman.

Mystery Solved - Boxers or Briefs, 'Thanks but you could have just told me.'

'Al, that hopeless romantic, sends me love letters written in wine. I just wish he'd use red instead of white.'

'It's the same everywhere: body over brains.'

"Sorry, dear... I don't have a pumpkin spiced flat white chai latte. I just have this one..."

'Check out the old dude.'

"Got any bathtub gin?"

'Next Please...' (Joe's Sharpening Service).

Graffiti artists signs his memoirs in bookshop.

"What? Don't yuck my yum!"

"Leon, honey, you break all the rules of dramaturgy."

"I can't come in today, I'm feeling like myself."

"POOPIN'! It's the Butt Signal!"

The Pencil and Sharpener

'F-E-E-D-T-H-E-D-O-G . . . Hey that's spooky! Why would your granddad say that?'

'It's a zen diaphragm.'

Hot cross buns

"Oh, it's alright. You couldn't know that I'm honey-intolerant."

"It all started when I read somewhere that happiness is an inside job. Naturally, I assumed some breaking and entering was involved."

"Hold on... did you mean to hit Snooze or Jazz?"

Mime walking dog passes some invisible dog poop.

An Extraordinary Pointer

'I like the litter box...but the pool has gotta go !'