Quirky Fiction Fan T-Shirts

"It's the super - he says a lot of short American fiction has been clogging the pipes in the basement."

"Me Tarzan, you Jane, this Cheetah, my gimp."

'I didn't dedicate my book, A Lifetime of Wine Tasting, to my 3 ex-wives and nine kids, because they made it possible. I did it because they made it necessary.'

"I'm not here to slay you. I'm here to talk to you about diversifying your investment portfolio."

"Welcome to Off-Off-Off Broadway."

Molecules You Ought to be Aware of.

Odd Angles,a monthly strip on coarse angling.

"Don't shave it. It gives your face character."

Introducing...Anagraman.

Goat about goat: 'He's no longer gruff since he's been on Prozac.'

Mystery Solved - Boxers or Briefs, 'Thanks but you could have just told me.'

The Awful Lawfuls Chapter 10

'Check out the old dude.'

"Sorry, dear... I don't have a pumpkin spiced flat white chai latte. I just have this one..."

'It's the same everywhere: body over brains.'

'Al, that hopeless romantic, sends me love letters written in wine. I just wish he'd use red instead of white.'

Next year, we are NOT going to Costco.

"If you think you made a stink pulling the fruit, try pulling His finger."

"Got any bathtub gin?"

"What? Don't yuck my yum!"

'Next Please...' (Joe's Sharpening Service).

'It's a zen diaphragm.'

The Pencil and Sharpener

'F-E-E-D-T-H-E-D-O-G . . . Hey that's spooky! Why would your granddad say that?'

"Leon, honey, you break all the rules of dramaturgy."

The Family Joules: Part 5

"I can't come in today, I'm feeling like myself."

"POOPIN'! It's the Butt Signal!"

Graffiti artists signs his memoirs in bookshop.

Hot cross buns

"Oh, it's alright. You couldn't know that I'm honey-intolerant."

"It all started when I read somewhere that happiness is an inside job. Naturally, I assumed some breaking and entering was involved."

Crash Test Dummy Blues

Mime walking dog passes some invisible dog poop.

'...And the best he can do is a bunch of gophers?'