Quirky Narratives Lover Gifts

"Your article on the safe storage of combustibles is quite good, but I think you should leave out the part about the wicked witch setting you on fire."

"Don't editorialize."

"POOPIN'! It's the Butt Signal!"

"Oh, it's alright. You couldn't know that I'm honey-intolerant."

Fishing.

Meet the author Billy Bovine.

"We understand you wish to report a crime Madam? I'm Inspector La Garde and this is my able assistant Defective Constable Wallis."

'A book very interesting'

E M Forster.

"Just thought I'd let you know that the stars are in the exact same configuration as when Mary Shelley wrote 'Frankenstein'."

Nobody's reding our company blog,we need you to have sex with Mrs Miggins so that we can spice it up!

Gloria's life had been uneventful - until her 40th birthday, when her arms changed into swans.

"Prepare yourself for a shock. The birth records reveal you have a twin brother."

Abandoned baby with note is left by mouse hole.

"So, your friend Victor's a doctor?"

Big Bob knew it was wrong, but gosh darn it, someone had to stick up for the little guy.

'It's nice to finally be able to put a face to a really strange book.'

'Ignore me, it's just my nut allergy.'

'The bartender referred me to a shoe shine boy, and the shoe shine boy referred me to you.'

Snow White and the dwarf with seven psychotic personalities.

For several minutes, Norma's body is possessed by the spirit of her dead washing machine,

'Twinhawk was a mean, bloodthirsty town'

A Cool Invisible Cow.

'Your pistol's useless, Watson - it's the Penguin of the Baskervilles!'

'He bears keeping an eye on.'

"Why not have a star-nosed mole guide your sleigh tonight?"

"God I miss the good old days when you could huff and puff anywhere you damn well pleased."

'Look, it was fun, but I'd hardly call it scary!'