Quirky Narrative Admirer Gifts

For several minutes, Norma's body is possessed by the spirit of her dead washing machine,

"God I miss the good old days when you could huff and puff anywhere you damn well pleased."

"I can neither confirm nor deny what this next song is about."

"Oh, it's alright. You couldn't know that I'm honey-intolerant."

Fishing.

'This bottle of whisky will give you 'Dutch courage', it's the best I can do.'

"We understand you wish to report a crime Madam? I'm Inspector La Garde and this is my able assistant Defective Constable Wallis."

'He's dyslexic!'

"Your article on the safe storage of combustibles is quite good, but I think you should leave out the part about the wicked witch setting you on fire."

'A book very interesting'

Nobody's reding our company blog,we need you to have sex with Mrs Miggins so that we can spice it up!

Gloria's life had been uneventful - until her 40th birthday, when her arms changed into swans.

"Prepare yourself for a shock. The birth records reveal you have a twin brother."

Abandoned baby with note is left by mouse hole.

Ghost Porn

Big Bob knew it was wrong, but gosh darn it, someone had to stick up for the little guy.

'It's nice to finally be able to put a face to a really strange book.'

'The bartender referred me to a shoe shine boy, and the shoe shine boy referred me to you.'

'Ignore me, it's just my nut allergy.'

Snow White and the dwarf with seven psychotic personalities.

A Cool Invisible Cow.

'Twinhawk was a mean, bloodthirsty town'

Homeless! My Gingerbread House Was Eatern By Birds And The Insurance Won't Cover It.

"No, this isn't the Marriage Guidance Bureau, but don't hang up, I love a steamy story,"

The Ekert Saga: '...We'll be safe...as long as the Ekert is kept in the sacred vessel of nay-chaw. And he has to stay in theah until we find the anti-Ekert.'

'Look, it was fun, but I'd hardly call it scary!'

'Hurry up with the ransom note, we haven't much time.'

Alice Through the Looking Glass - Alice Dresses Tweedledee and Tweedledum for Battle.

'He bears keeping an eye on.'

"Why not have a star-nosed mole guide your sleigh tonight?"

'Your pistol's useless, Watson - it's the Penguin of the Baskervilles!'