Quirky Love Life Explorer Gifts

'Sorry I'm late - my wife's tongue stud got snagged on my nipple ring.'

Heart surgeon tastooing patients heart with "Love".

"I love you, you big fool."

"You don't whisper anymore."

Why Cupid is not allowed to drink alcohol anymore...

My wife's been talking to the skin I shed for over an hour.

"This is never going to work—you're a tree!"

"What is it about a tee shirt cannon that says 'foreplay' to you?"

Storage Unit of Love

"I'm gona level with you, Judith, I've spent some time in the pen."

'I even love the way you snore!'

"Now give me something intimate to say."

'If it wasn't for you darling - I think I would go crazy!'

'Oh Gloria, I love you with all my heart, part of my liver and most of my lower intestine.'

"Sometimes Ben does very dumb things. I love that in him."

'You disgust me; but I like it.'

"This is the last time I let anyone fix me up with a blind date!"

"I just feel like we're not connecting."

"This part of space feels especially weird right now."

Miss Lonelyhearts Advice to the Lovelorn

"You must be a computer geek, because I've never had anyone ask me to accept their 'Terms of Use' before a date."

'Were you playing footsie with me?'

"Ooh, this one sounds interesting, 'Single, vegetarian, bulbous, with moves like a lava lamp'."

"We can't go on meeting like this, I'm practically broke."

"Hmm....who's this tall drink of water?"

"Boys meet the girls. Girls meet the boys. . ."

Mouse on mouse action.

'Look what I found, Dad - Can I keep her?'

Near-sighted goose falls in love with saxophone.

"I could see my mating dance had caught her eye, so I put more energy into it, but I ended up sweaty and out of breath: she lost interest then. . ."

'I'm not sure this is going to work out.'

Tortoise Falls In Love With A Football.

Love struck wife looks over the barbed wife set up by her husband who is determined to enjoy a good nights sleep.

"I woke up this morning with a pain in my neck. That her lying there?"

"What did you expect from a budget airline?"