Quirky Love Life Gifts

"....And when we retire at night, she suddenly develops a critical head dysfunction!"

Heart surgeon tastooing patients heart with "Love".

"I love you, you big fool."

"You don't whisper anymore."

'All I want for Valentine's Day is a Greek fisherman's cap.'

STILL LIVES - Bolt: 'It's like we were made for one another!'

Why Cupid is not allowed to drink alcohol anymore...

He was a nerd. But he was her nerd.

"Leon, do you think it's all psychological?"

Face Mask Romance

'He has his pet and I have mine.'

Storage Unit of Love

'Flowers? From a garage? You're a darling!'

'He's narrating it, I just know it.'

Graffitti.

'That's one of those May-December love affairs. He's 251 years old, and she can't be a day over 135!'

"May we see your kids' menu please?"

"Sometimes Ben does very dumb things. I love that in him."

'Oh Gloria, I love you with all my heart, part of my liver and most of my lower intestine.'

'If it wasn't for you darling - I think I would go crazy!'

"I'm gona level with you, Judith, I've spent some time in the pen."

"Sure, I may be over the top, but at least I'm not underhanded like him!"

'I even love the way you snore!'

"Should we try that new place in the corner?"

"My husband finally taught him to use the toilet but can't convince him to give up kitty litter."

'You disgust me; but I like it.'

"Honestly, I'm not sure I even know who every one of you are anymore."

Romance

'I'll never forget the first time we met...when that gardener cut you in half with his spade.'

"You're a surprisingly good kisser for having two different dead guys' lips."

'I met my wife on Faeces Book.'

'I feel like I just don't know you anymore, Richard!'

"Ooh, this one sounds interesting, 'Single, vegetarian, bulbous, with moves like a lava lamp'."

'Is it true a Maitre D' has the authority to marry people, just like the captain of a ship?'

Miss Lonelyhearts Advice to the Lovelorn