Quirky Relationship Gifts

STILL LIVES - Bolt: 'It's like we were made for one another!'

A woman waits on the subway with a man in a carrier bag.

Heart surgeon tastooing patients heart with "Love".

'All I want for Valentine's Day is a Greek fisherman's cap.'

"You don't whisper anymore."

My wife's been talking to the skin I shed for over an hour.

What Guys Say and What They Mean,

He was a nerd. But he was her nerd.

"Leon, do you think it's all psychological?"

Face Mask Romance

'That's one of those May-December love affairs. He's 251 years old, and she can't be a day over 135!'

'He has his pet and I have mine.'

'Flowers? From a garage? You're a darling!'

'He's narrating it, I just know it.'

Graffitti.

"This is never going to work—you're a tree!"

"May we see your kids' menu please?"

"Should we try that new place in the corner?"

"Sure, I may be over the top, but at least I'm not underhanded like him!"

'You disgust me; but I like it.'

"My husband finally taught him to use the toilet but can't convince him to give up kitty litter."

'I know we're supposed to be Lovebirds, but a bit of privacy from time to time would be nice...'

"You're a surprisingly good kisser for having two different dead guys' lips."

"Flippin' eck Mandy, don't your parents ever go to bed?"

'I'll never forget the first time we met...when that gardener cut you in half with his spade.'

"Steve and I live together, but we're getting indicted separately."

"Honestly, I'm not sure I even know who every one of you are anymore."

'I feel like I just don't know you anymore, Richard!'

"It's getting serious - he left his stuff."

Intimacy - Breeding Ground for Mutual Grooming.

"Hmm....who's this tall drink of water?"

ACME COMPUTER DATING SERVICE, 'She should be attractive, intelligenty, charming, and funny, or best offer.

'Is it true a Maitre D' has the authority to marry people, just like the captain of a ship?'

"We met in the Galapagos."

"How come we don't start plagues any more? Are we one of those boring couples?"