Quirky Relationship Comics Fan Gifts

'I know we're supposed to be Lovebirds, but a bit of privacy from time to time would be nice...'

'The school bus drove off without me. The driver said she couldn't allow one more peanut butter sandwich on her bus.'

'You know bank pens never work. Why didn't you write the holdup note before we left?!'

STILL LIVES - Bolt: 'It's like we were made for one another!'

'Wait! Let's see if he gets up on his own.'

"You're crappin' in the closet again, Claude."

'Of course the Johnsons got the big cloud.'

"Why so grim, handsome?"

Horse draws a baby carriage.

'I see Farmer Grayson is off to dust the crops again!'

'Actually thursday'll be a perfect time to come by Penny. That way you'll finally get the chance to meet my other half.'

Top Secret Files

Barber does skinhead's haircut with a lawn mower.

You'd think I'd learn after four dates, but I keep running back to her.

Yeah, I woke up as a roach because I was so full of existential dread – Why did you wake up as a dung beetle?

"I'm sorry your wife doesn't understand you, but this is a dry cleaner's."

'I'm leaving my wife because of another woman. Her mother.'

Great, the skeletons of all the other cartoon characters who were here before us.

'I finally got my pouch pierced.'

'I swear I didn't know you'd heard that joke before...'

'Going up?'

"You have to get up early tomorrow, too? We have so much in common!"

'Worst case of Prickly-Heat I've ever seen!'

"Can I start you all off with my cheesy alimony saga?"

"This is a good start! You both agree that the marriage needs some new spark!"

"Of course you don't look anything like your reflection in the mirror."

"Steve and I live together, but we're getting indicted separately."

'We now have a drug to cure 'writer's block' but a common side effect is plagiaism.'

"It's getting serious - he left his stuff."

"I dumped my stable companion, he was seeing another pony!"

"I picked him up cheap on eBay."

'Why does it take 1 million sperm to fertilize 1 egg?'

The world is my oyster and I'm allergic to shellfish.

'After twenty years in this business, the nuttiness starts to rub off a little.'

"So for you being buried alive was largely a negative experience?"