Quirky Relationship Humor Fan Gifts

"I just started nibbling on his ear. I guess I didn't realise how hungry I was."

Remember no handshaking

Life is for the birds.

'I didn't dedicate my book, A Lifetime of Wine Tasting, to my 3 ex-wives and nine kids, because they made it possible. I did it because they made it necessary.'

"I'm not here to slay you. I'm here to talk to you about diversifying your investment portfolio."

Molecules You Ought to be Aware of.

"Don't shave it. It gives your face character."

Odd Angles,a monthly strip on coarse angling.

"First date hairball... awkward."

Hello. I'm Ferdinand. I'll be monitoring the levels of bull at your table this evening. Menu. Menu.

'Stop complaining woman, you wanted a boating holiday!'

Goat about goat: 'He's no longer gruff since he's been on Prozac.'

Introducing...Anagraman.

Mystery Solved - Boxers or Briefs, 'Thanks but you could have just told me.'

Next year, we are NOT going to Costco.

"You're hogging the covers again!"

'It's the same everywhere: body over brains.'

"If you think you made a stink pulling the fruit, try pulling His finger."

'I wouldn't kick her out of bed.'

"Sorry, dear... I don't have a pumpkin spiced flat white chai latte. I just have this one..."

'Check out the old dude.'

"Got any bathtub gin?"

"He should be up and complaining in no time."

'It's a zen diaphragm.'

"POOPIN'! It's the Butt Signal!"

The Pencil and Sharpener

"Leon, honey, you break all the rules of dramaturgy."

'F-E-E-D-T-H-E-D-O-G . . . Hey that's spooky! Why would your granddad say that?'

"Doctor - at home I get this nagging pain... what do you recommend?"

'Adam, you left the toilet rock up again!'

"What? Don't yuck my yum!"

"I can't come in today, I'm feeling like myself."

'Next Please...' (Joe's Sharpening Service).

Hot cross buns

"Open a wine that will make me want to watch the shows you want to watch."