Love Life Explorer Gifts

'So, that's why your relationship status us 'It's complicated'!'

"Do you believe in the five-second rule?"

Why spiders don't like group sex...

Love struck wife looks over the barbed wife set up by her husband who is determined to enjoy a good nights sleep.

'What's your idea of the perfect woman? One that likes short, fat, middle-aged men.'

'Harold, have we lost the spark?'

'I think we've made a real breakthrough today.'

'I would like to find at least ONE bar that isn't a meat market.'

Singles Bar

Safe Sex

'Oh, Jan ran down to the local V.D. clinic.'

"We can't go on meeting like this, I'm practically broke."

"I woke up this morning with a pain in my neck. That her lying there?"

"Of course I married you for who you were, but I didn't expect you to stay that way."

"I just feel like we're not connecting."

"I could see my mating dance had caught her eye, so I put more energy into it, but I ended up sweaty and out of breath: she lost interest then. . ."

"You just a hopeless romantic, Ogg."

"I tried a dating website and found true love. She confides all her personal problems to me, and even her bank account number."

No Tell Motel

Colin believed that the first date was the best time to clear up any possible future misunderstandings.

"She's on her fifth soul mate."

"From the gentleman at the bar."

"Now give me something intimate to say."

"Boys meet the girls. Girls meet the boys. . ."

'I love it when you talk politics to me.'

'... Well, at least it wasn't a total refusal. She did say she'd go out with me if hell freezes over!'

'I'm not sure this is going to work out.'

'The whole knack, right,is to send out the right message.'

"You know, Ben, it's really cute how secure you are in your sexuality."

'When you speak of this, I hope you won't reveal my identity.'

'Were you playing footsie with me?'

'Look what I found, Dad - Can I keep her?'

'Is 'physical relation' what I think it is?'

'And that's it in a nutshell son... any questions?'

He often fantasised about leading a double life.