Quirky Hygienist Gifts

"I really don't like popcorn, but it feels so good to floss afterward."

"Four years of dental school only to tell all my patients 'Don't worry about any tooth issues - they'll just fall out and be replaced, anyway'."

Whack-a-molecule

Al puts tiny diapers on his fish.

"Sarge, he says he wants to make a 'fashion statement'!"

Egg Buggy

Man with money in hand reads instructions on 'Check prostate' vending machine

'Who did you have lick your hair?'

"And more intriguingly, your prognosis differs depending on which search engine I use."

DIY pedicure

The Big Book of Really Hard Surgery

"The Help Desk guy says to try Ctrl-Alt-Delete....!"

'What are you doing? We only take the teeth they leave under the pillow.'

"9 out of 10 doctors recommend keeping their stethoscopes in the freezer."

A shark flosses with a fishing line.

"I guess I don't have to give you another toothbrush, since I suspect the one I gave you last time is still as good as new."

'You are not landing on your dinner with those clean feet!'

"Why do I always get the stupid wobbly table?"

'Now, be reasonable about this pay-rise: I could just buy a toothbrush and you would be out of a job...'

Plastic Surgery

'This hospital certainly takes cleanliness seriously.'

Elephant's tusks are in a glass by the bed.

'That's it for today. If you have any questions, ask the nurse. I can't hear a thing with these ear plugs in.'

Graduate.

'I think that's the last time mom will ever ask us to wash up before dinner.'

'So what are you doing tonight, babe?'

St Berts - Britain's first open mouth surgery in progress.

Sewing for Dummies.

'Why not use dental floss instead of candy floss?!'

Man shaving from foam on a mug of beer.

"I've head the soup's not bad."

'Tests indicate you may be susceptible to the H1-N1 virus'

Monks haircutting with compasses