Quirky Habit Defender Pillows

Post-Modern Parenting

Weird things I do because of the internet

"We have to stop meeting like this – people are starting to talk ‘psychiatric ward.’"

'Knock it off, Gus! This is tough enough without your yodeling!'

'I'm doing like you said and not drinking straight from the carton.'

"Me? I'm taking the dog for a silly walk."

'It's my own fault, I encouraged him to give up cigarettes in favour of a pipe. It was while we were on holiday in the Swiss Alps!'

"Ok Mr Rogers, that's enough bubblewrap."

"Are you aware of how many times you say 'oink' when you talk?"

"You know that thing where you stand like a statue, then move real fast, then stand like a statue again? You totally stole that from me."

'I'm worried. I gave up smoking without any trouble.'

"I hope you don't mind, I can't sleep without them."

Advantages of being bald # 1 - Freshly Squeezed Grapefruit Juice

"I'm concerned... She didn't do her usual stretch-bark-rub-her-face-across-the-carpet thing after kibble."

"You still haven't told me why your last girlfriend dumped you"

'Diet patch, stop-smoking patch, birth control patch...'

"No thanks. I quit smoking 55 pounds ago."

"There's the UPS truck, but that's not Justin. What's going on?! Where the #@*! is Justin?!"

Drying your hands on trousers.

I started biting my lip...and look where that got me!

'Ron's managed to stop smoking but he's put on an awful lot of weight.'

'Take no notice she often feigns death she was raised by possums.'

Naked bowling in the living room

Pick your own.

'It's true that the order has relaxed the dress code somewhat, Sister Catherine, but spandex is still a no-no.'

Rare Medical Conditions - The Obsessive habit of checking the contents of one's hankerchief after each use.

'Cats are creatures of habit.'

'Oscar! You just have to get closer to your spittoon!'

'The water shortage began it - Then somehow, the habit of sharing-a-bath stuck...'

Designated Smoking Area - Please do not tap on glass

Man with bow and arrow trying to shoot moles in his garden

'It's true that the order has relaxed the dress code somewhat, Sister Catherine, but spandex is still a no-no.'

"Sweetie, you know I can’t sleep without mariachi noise."