Quirky Gifter Pillows

"Sayyy - you've had some work done!"

Make Your Own

"It's my Dad's Birthday. Could you gift wrap it?"

"A cactus! Darling, you're such a romantic..."

'Here you go, kid! A worm.'

"Cheers! Well, this is exciting. I've never had a dinner date with a duck before." "Relax, honey. I'm just here for the bread."

"All natural snow cones for sale."

Lactose Intolerant

'So where do you think pineapple juice comes from?'

"The following programme contains scenes of a very noisy vacuum cleaner."

God putting the finishing touches to the Pug.

No, no, this is Terry's ark, Noah's is three arks down.

A golden Big Boy holding a plate of poop

'Take my tip,sonny and say it with jelly babies.'

All bets are off as Round One begins in the "Dollars versus Donuts" World Championship title fight.

Excess Baggage: Some people take getting away from it all very seriously.

'They help with my nicotine patch addiction.'

Ball as water-melon.

You don't need to believe EVERYTHING you are told.

"And at no extra charge I can give your old suit a Viking funeral."

'We have three minutes left.'

"Happy Anniversary, dear! It's a gold spray-painted macaroni necklace."

"'How We Die' - fabulous!"

"It's my home grown quail call. Quail don't come when I blow it, but cows sure do."

A watch face with Stonehenge

'It's another corporate lawyer...do we want to buy a soul?'

Diner

Fly fishing.

Whittling a forget-me-not moose for the one you adore...

That must be my computer date... (Answers door to robot).

High speed cinder block

Where Deviled Eggs come from

"Waiter, this is the worst meal I've ever tasted. And believe me, I've eaten some crap!"

A Crash-test Dummy child about to have a ride on a car crash test ride in a shopping centre mall.

Customer entering bank that is touting number of toasters given away