Quirky Coordinator Gifts

3 Pointless Things To Do At Christmas: Add a little festivity to your favourite fast food/Look up an old friend/Murder the Scotch.

A desert island with a knotted palm tree

"I'm busy this afternoon, but I can crayon you in for Saturday."

'That large, rolled up newspaper is a reminder - mess up in this office and you'll pay the price.'

'This is impressive, Roberts, but I'm not sure that it qualifies as work-place leadership.'

'I'd like to leave my pacemaker to the medical institute, my artificial lung to the research center, my false teeth to the dental clinic, my dacron arteries...'

"I think I see a miscreant in the carpark. There's no time to call the police I must deal with it myself."

"I don't consider a missing four million dollars to be 'monkeyshines'."

Office: Empowerment Drawer.

"Jenkins, come in and pull up a bean bag."

"You don't look a day over 30,000."

I've refiled all your letters under L.

'We'll talk later, Ed, but for now we have a quick and dirty solution to your objections.'

Melvin likes to indulge his inner child.

'Stick and Carrot Business Incentive Consultants.'

When he was between Executive Assistants, filing became a challenge for Jonathan.

"Ah, Stevens—sit anywhere."

"The boss is the fatherly type. He never fires anybody."

"Good to have you aboard. Now, let's meet some of the oddballs weirdos and eccentrics you'll be working with."

Self-Employment

'Thanks for making it guys. Come on in and pull up a chair.' A square hole in an office floor where chairs can be pulled up from

Bad Office Planning

'Quick! Look cute!'

"Right before I die I'm going to swallow a bag of popcorn kernels."

"Would someone dim the lights? I'm about to launch into the paranoid and conspiratorial portion of my report."

"He doesn't like dinosaurs."

'Now THIS is my idea of a creative department.'

VARIOUS ITEMS OF LABELLED KITCHENWARE.

'They're both great quarterbacks, but I chose Matt as my starter because he's dating a celebrity!'

Cavewoman has block of ice with refrigerator magnets on it.

'The bartender referred me to a shoe shine boy, and the shoe shine boy referred me to you.'

"You said to hire a face painter and I did! Bill is a mortician!"

"This one is less distracting."

"Lots of people have writing partners..."