Quinceañera Gifts

"Why be a princess...when I can be a queen?"

"Look! They have a Quinceanera Carlie doll! How authentic!"

Gardener clipping topiary stairs

Great British Eccentrics.

Alice in Wonderland: The Queen Turns into a Pack of Cards.

"Before I read the financial report I have to ask... do any of you have a weapon?"

Instructions for Bow Tie Wearers

'The attendant is very good. I tip him the occasional sparrow.'

I love the Shard

'Gosh, I dunno. You sure it's organic?'

A Knight Arrives at a Boiling Lake Filled with Monsters (Don Quixote).

'It's not just any old rucksack Nathan. Nasa's entire spring collection is built around this baby.'

Test your patience, back in one hour.

'Can I have mine with the peak at the front '

"Its my letter of resignation. I also turned it into a memoir."

T-Shirt reads: 'Out of mind, I won't be back.'

Robber on treadmill

"The pea's the first vegetable I've ever grown. Can you stuff and mount it for me please?"

'I'm in the amusingly shaped vegetables department.'

'Geez, I hate these fun runs!'

Mad For It

"Are you sure this is a Film Noir"

"I can't understand it, we did quite well in the first three quarters.

Unicorn in the Woods

'I thoguht they only tested drugs on guinea pigs.'

Although early tests show Dr. McWit's hare transplant hides hair loss, and has no dangerous side effects, Ed's not sure he likes the results.

Foxy lady

"I'm outside the fancy dress shop...."

"But, honestly, I've never been more serious."

'If it walks like a duck, quacks like a duck, looks like a duck, it' actually a gene-modified flounder.'

Planting Bird Seed.

City Zoo: 'Try our exotic composts in your garden.'

'For us, buying shoes is like buying one drink with two straws, hahaha!'

Watering can helmet.

Burlyesque