Tween Years Gifts

"Easy on the cosmetics, dear. Use just enough so people say, 'See, you don't need makeup!'"

"Can I borrow the car keys?"

"Well, young man... just consider yourself grounded!"

"Well, I had 'the talk' with him.

'Well, Tommy, you've grown a foot since the last time I saw you!'

The No No No's

A Punk Rocker Cocoon.

Wordplay: Hibernation.

'I'd explain how the TV, VCR, DVD, surround sound home entertainment system works...but I don't know.'

Mayhem, Inc. Part 21

"Check it out! In nature, females are in charge...they select their mates!"

"We’ve nailed guitar-solo-face. Time to try playing instruments."

Grand. Baby Grand. Toddler Grand. Teen Grand.

"He's gone goth"

'The school computers are six months old. How can I be expected to be competitive in the job market if I'm trained on obsolete equipment?'

'Good night, Dear. Text me if you need anything.'

The Life and Times of Miley Cyrus

“Dad, I think I’ve finally found Gsus.”

"Maybe if I make myself inconspicuous I won't be called on."

"I'll get up in negative five minutes."

Wow. Totaled. Teen Test Dummy.

'This is a good time to be young, son. Look at all the opportunities you have in front of you...you can help sole the problems of the environment, poverty,civil rights....'

'I think there was a typo in the lab instructions.'

"I hate you! You don't understand me and you don't understand my software!"

'You can stick your filthy shell. I'm listening to the Arctic Monkeys.'

'Since we're being so honest, perhaps I should mention that I liked you better as an egg.'

"I don't need a lecture Dad, I know all I need to know from the online tutorials of @DamKing61, @HotDam72 and @DamEasy27. . ."

'I'm not doing well in Chemistry - I'm out of my element.'

'Teens are like trees, you can chart their growth by the number of rings.'

"I've tracked our GPS coordinates over the past week dad. Well, we're roaming the plains alright!"

"Could you please downgrade this to a C? High expectations bring out the worst in my parents."

'For God's sake give me some angst, how will I ever write a misery memoir?'

'Think about it guys: We're fed and sheltered, why would we ever think about leaving the nest?'

"Allowance?! Yeah, if you take out the trash, I'll allow you to keep living here."

Modern Kids.