Teen Years Gifts

Adolescence is Coming!

"Do you think we should lower the price?"

My Dad, trying to look young. The cap hides his bald spot and the sweatshirt hides his gut!

A Punk Rocker Cocoon.

"Well, young man... just consider yourself grounded!"

"Three more years of high school."

'Well, Tommy, you've grown a foot since the last time I saw you!'

"Well, I had 'the talk' with him.

Wordplay: Hibernation.

'I'd explain how the TV, VCR, DVD, surround sound home entertainment system works...but I don't know.'

"Check it out! In nature, females are in charge...they select their mates!"

'So Kyle - have you considered the challenges of van driving?'

It's a radical new development, a text novel for the text generation

"He's gone goth"

"We’ve nailed guitar-solo-face. Time to try playing instruments."

'The school computers are six months old. How can I be expected to be competitive in the job market if I'm trained on obsolete equipment?'

'Good night, Dear. Text me if you need anything.'

"Maybe if I make myself inconspicuous I won't be called on."

“Dad, I think I’ve finally found Gsus.”

"I'll get up in negative five minutes."

PROBLEM AREAS

'You know they've reached puberty when they're more interested in Dr. Ruth than Babe Ruth.'

'This is a good time to be young, son. Look at all the opportunities you have in front of you...you can help sole the problems of the environment, poverty,civil rights....'

'I think there was a typo in the lab instructions.'

"I hate you! You don't understand me and you don't understand my software!"

'You can stick your filthy shell. I'm listening to the Arctic Monkeys.'

'Teens are like trees, you can chart their growth by the number of rings.'

"My parents said that until I find a job and move out they will not recognize me as a sentient being."

Fishbowl rebellion.

'Since we're being so honest, perhaps I should mention that I liked you better as an egg.'