Queenie Gifts

Queen reigning.

'RUN FOR COVER!!!!! It's another one of those 'Baby Showers'!!!

Timmy has a great future in nano-technology.

Best before 65 million BC.

"Sure, while you went out robbing folks I stayed here and made a nice quiche, and just to prove I'm not a sissy I made it with mountain lion instead of ham."

Alice in Wonderland: The Queen Turns into a Pack of Cards.

Child using building blocks to get over a baby gate.

Give quiche a chance!

Mystery Solved - Boxers or Briefs, 'Thanks but you could have just told me.'

"Do you want to suddenly decide we need a waffle maker?"

A Knight Arrives at a Boiling Lake Filled with Monsters (Don Quixote).

TV Chef Cooking Range

Child praying - asks god to bless his family and the new motorbike he's bought with his father's credit card.

'Allow me. After all, I'm planning to be an electrician.'

"Why be a princess...when I can be a queen?"

Access Denied!

Sticking out tongue

'Oxygen with that swimsuit ma'am?'

Elizabeth I

Are you printing your own book? No, it's my mailing to agents!

Penfriend

'I'll put one end of the hose in your pool...you take the other end outside...gravity will create a siphon and drain the water with no mess.'

'Dad, before I tell you what happened, how much does a piece of glass nine feet by twelve feet cost?'

"All you said was for me to go to my room and clean. Since you weren't specific, I cleaned my computer's hard drive."

Thong World.

The Water Diviner

"No, no, no, my wife said she'll have a quiche!"

"Hahaha! What's wrong Dorky Nerdmire? That's your name isn't it?"

"Look! They have a Quinceanera Carlie doll! How authentic!"

'All I have to do is clean up the piles of trash, laundry and dirty dishes in my room, then I'm free...'

"No, honesty Billy. . . they don't use real dogs in them!"

A Con-artist offering brain scans to the public from his flatbed scanner.

Mouse execution

Remember, son, we're men. We walk in. We buy. We walk out. No browsing. Sweaters. (Originally published on 2008-01-14).