Quality Assurance Officer Gifts

'A problem with the Phase II trials. Everyone - all the people - was given the placebo, and no one got the drug.'

Quality Control

Quality Control

"We only got up to three 'whys' and a 'what the hell'."

"We're developing a plan to fix this."

'Okay, the motorized rocking chair could use an emergency off switch.'

Rust test in progress.

"Office of quality assurance"

'Our only option is to improve quality or hire more lawyers.'

'Due to budget cutbacks we are combining our annual employee dinner with The Seven Basic Quality Control Tools Training.'

"We're having a lot of trouble with this model, sir - it's lasting indefinitely."

"It says it's the vodka that's distilled twenty-nine times - they just can't seem to get it right."

'This tuna is being recalled. It contains seahorse.'

"Well TECHNICALLY he might be DEAD, but accordinh to the hospital's new patient satisfaction metrics he's pretty damned pleased about it."

"It floated. I want my money back."

Impartial Testing: "Eeny, meeny, money, moe..."

Complaints clerk to consumer: A hair in your TV dinner? Maybe it belongs to a celebrity!

"I think these may be counterfeit bolts."

"Could you spare a few minutes to give some feedback on your death experience?"

"And here is the quality control department for our deviled eggs."

Quality Contorl.

'Hey! This box of 'made in America' stickers has a sticker on it that says 'made in Taiwan'.'

Doll line: Quality Control - Too Creepy.

Agricultural Testing Station: 'Over 3 Billion Compounds Tested.'

"...and into each box, we now put a tiny amount of antidote to counteract all the additives."

'The scary part is, he's in charge of quality control.'

'I'm afraid we have to let you go, Carl, you're just an accident waiting to happen.'

'They're doing their tests now?

Benchmark

Complaints about how we handled your complaint.

'Apparently it's not enough to say that 'lots of people think we do a jolly good job' anymore.'