Quality Assurance Manager Gifts

'Apparently it's not enough to say that 'lots of people think we do a jolly good job' anymore.'

'A regulatory body is here to see you!'

"She says she's from Quality Control. We've failed the furniture inspection."

Quality Control

Suggestions Box

"Our problem is that because of inferior workmanship, our products don't have the built-in obsolescence we designed for them."

'Finnegan's hurt bad, sir -- a crate of warning labels fell on him!'

'When that automated message says, 'Your call may be monitored for quality assurance,' it's to keep the quality of our customer service low.'

"Now, I wonder whether you'd be kind enough to complete our customer feedback survey?"

Quality Control

'A problem with the Phase II trials. Everyone - all the people - was given the placebo, and no one got the drug.'

Quality Control

"We only got up to three 'whys' and a 'what the hell'."

"We're developing a plan to fix this."

'Okay, the motorized rocking chair could use an emergency off switch.'

Rust test in progress.

"Office of quality assurance"

'Our only option is to improve quality or hire more lawyers.'

Party ville Trick Birthday Candles: Quality Control Department.,

'Due to budget cutbacks we are combining our annual employee dinner with The Seven Basic Quality Control Tools Training.'

"We're having a lot of trouble with this model, sir - it's lasting indefinitely."

"It says it's the vodka that's distilled twenty-nine times - they just can't seem to get it right."

'This tuna is being recalled. It contains seahorse.'

"And here is the quality control department for our deviled eggs."

"Could you spare a few minutes to give some feedback on your death experience?"

'How long have you had that toupee?'

"It floated. I want my money back."

"Well TECHNICALLY he might be DEAD, but accordinh to the hospital's new patient satisfaction metrics he's pretty damned pleased about it."

Impartial Testing: "Eeny, meeny, money, moe..."

"I think these may be counterfeit bolts."

Complaints clerk to consumer: A hair in your TV dinner? Maybe it belongs to a celebrity!

ACME Condiments Quality Control. The boss wants to know if you're going to pass the ketchup.

Quality Contorl.

'Hey! This box of 'made in America' stickers has a sticker on it that says 'made in Taiwan'.'

Doll line: Quality Control - Too Creepy.