Quality Assurance Specialist Gifts

"To be honest, the hardest part was the ISO certification."

"We're developing a plan to fix this."

'This visit may be monitored for the quality assurance purposes...'

"This call is monitored for quality. Try to keep up your end of the conversation."

'Your call is monitored for quality assurance, anyone who stays on hold for 15 minutes is a loser - so we're hanging up!'

' . . . and a surplus screw for the heck of it!'

"Well TECHNICALLY he might be DEAD, but accordinh to the hospital's new patient satisfaction metrics he's pretty damned pleased about it."

"It's a hassle, but I can use the handicapped-parking spots."

"Sir, it says very clearly that using our product 'May Cause Horrific Mutations' right on the label."

Consumer Safety Testing Lab. Bake-it Toy Oven. We have lots of work to do --- Now get the lead out!

'They're doing their tests now?

Gentleman, we're talking one serious design fault here.

"I'm an X-Acto Knife Tester."

"For quality control purposes, this phone call may be recorded and replayed for laughs at various office parties throughout our company."

"Got a gig in automotive safety, and you. . .?"

"Could you spare a few minutes to give some feedback on your death experience?"

'A problem with the Phase II trials. Everyone - all the people - was given the placebo, and no one got the drug.'

GPC needs to make its new formula foolproof.

"We only got up to three 'whys' and a 'what the hell'."

Rust test in progress.

"Office of quality assurance"

'Our only option is to improve quality or hire more lawyers.'

Party ville Trick Birthday Candles: Quality Control Department.,

'Due to budget cutbacks we are combining our annual employee dinner with The Seven Basic Quality Control Tools Training.'

"We're having a lot of trouble with this model, sir - it's lasting indefinitely."

'This tuna is being recalled. It contains seahorse.'

"It says it's the vodka that's distilled twenty-nine times - they just can't seem to get it right."

"I think these may be counterfeit bolts."

Impartial Testing: "Eeny, meeny, money, moe..."

Complaints clerk to consumer: A hair in your TV dinner? Maybe it belongs to a celebrity!

"And here is the quality control department for our deviled eggs."

"It floated. I want my money back."

Quality Contorl.

'Hey! This box of 'made in America' stickers has a sticker on it that says 'made in Taiwan'.'

Doll line: Quality Control - Too Creepy.