Quality Assurance Analyst Gifts

Complaints about how we handled your complaint.

'The following ocean sounds are monitored for quality assurance. . .'

Don't be afraid of criticism. Openly ask for feedback so you can improve service.

"Isn't it great to get out of the kitchen and cook in the fresh air!"

'A problem with the Phase II trials. Everyone - all the people - was given the placebo, and no one got the drug.'

GPC needs to make its new formula foolproof.

"We only got up to three 'whys' and a 'what the hell'."

"We're developing a plan to fix this."

"I meant the dog!"

'We just don't talk anymore, Gerald!'

"We're to stop talking about 'budget cuts'. Apparently it's depressing for staff and clients..."

Boss and worker communicating in exclaimation marks.

"Office of quality assurance"

Party ville Trick Birthday Candles: Quality Control Department.,

'Due to budget cutbacks we are combining our annual employee dinner with The Seven Basic Quality Control Tools Training.'

"We're having a lot of trouble with this model, sir - it's lasting indefinitely."

'This tuna is being recalled. It contains seahorse.'

"It says it's the vodka that's distilled twenty-nine times - they just can't seem to get it right."

"And here is the quality control department for our deviled eggs."

"Could you spare a few minutes to give some feedback on your death experience?"

Complaints clerk to consumer: A hair in your TV dinner? Maybe it belongs to a celebrity!

Impartial Testing: "Eeny, meeny, money, moe..."

"It floated. I want my money back."

"Well TECHNICALLY he might be DEAD, but accordinh to the hospital's new patient satisfaction metrics he's pretty damned pleased about it."

"Here's what we've accomplished so far"

Quality Contorl.

Doll line: Quality Control - Too Creepy.

'The scary part is, he's in charge of quality control.'

'They're doing their tests now?

'With my new phone I can lie out of both side of my mouth 24/7.'

"...and into each box, we now put a tiny amount of antidote to counteract all the additives."

Benchmark

It's good news when an agent says "This is a big break" to an aspiring actor. But not good when said by an orthopedic surgeon holding your x-ray! It's jarring when your business partner says "We're going under while he's looking at the books. But it's very routine when said by a submarine captain speaking to the crew. "You're on fire" is nice to hear when you're playing an excellent round of golf. But not what you want to hear when you're grilling burgers. "A thumb on the scale" often mean

Agricultural Testing Station: 'Over 3 Billion Compounds Tested.'

'Apparently it's not enough to say that 'lots of people think we do a jolly good job' anymore.'