Quality Assurance Analyst Gifts

Complaints about how we handled your complaint.

'The following ocean sounds are monitored for quality assurance. . .'

Don't be afraid of criticism. Openly ask for feedback so you can improve service.

'A problem with the Phase II trials. Everyone - all the people - was given the placebo, and no one got the drug.'

"Isn't it great to get out of the kitchen and cook in the fresh air!"

GPC needs to make its new formula foolproof.

"We only got up to three 'whys' and a 'what the hell'."

"We're developing a plan to fix this."

'We just don't talk anymore, Gerald!'

"We're to stop talking about 'budget cuts'. Apparently it's depressing for staff and clients..."

"I meant the dog!"

"Office of quality assurance"

Boss and worker communicating in exclaimation marks.

'Due to budget cutbacks we are combining our annual employee dinner with The Seven Basic Quality Control Tools Training.'

"We're having a lot of trouble with this model, sir - it's lasting indefinitely."

"It says it's the vodka that's distilled twenty-nine times - they just can't seem to get it right."

'This tuna is being recalled. It contains seahorse.'

"And here is the quality control department for our deviled eggs."

"Here's what we've accomplished so far"

"Well TECHNICALLY he might be DEAD, but accordinh to the hospital's new patient satisfaction metrics he's pretty damned pleased about it."

Impartial Testing: "Eeny, meeny, money, moe..."

"Could you spare a few minutes to give some feedback on your death experience?"

"It floated. I want my money back."

Complaints clerk to consumer: A hair in your TV dinner? Maybe it belongs to a celebrity!

Quality Contorl.

Doll line: Quality Control - Too Creepy.

'With my new phone I can lie out of both side of my mouth 24/7.'

Agricultural Testing Station: 'Over 3 Billion Compounds Tested.'

"...and into each box, we now put a tiny amount of antidote to counteract all the additives."

'The scary part is, he's in charge of quality control.'

Benchmark

'They're doing their tests now?

'Apparently it's not enough to say that 'lots of people think we do a jolly good job' anymore.'

'Don't slam the door so hard.'

'Sales of durable goods are down. Actually the sales numbers are the same, the goods just aren't as durable as they used to be.'