Quality Control Analyst Gifts

No cows were harmed in the making of this beefburger.

Agricultural Testing Station: 'Over 3 Billion Compounds Tested.'

Quality Control

Quality Control

"We only got up to three 'whys' and a 'what the hell'."

"We're developing a plan to fix this."

'Okay, the motorized rocking chair could use an emergency off switch.'

Rust test in progress.

"Office of quality assurance"

'Our only option is to improve quality or hire more lawyers.'

'Due to budget cutbacks we are combining our annual employee dinner with The Seven Basic Quality Control Tools Training.'

Satis Factory Tour

"We're having a lot of trouble with this model, sir - it's lasting indefinitely."

"It says it's the vodka that's distilled twenty-nine times - they just can't seem to get it right."

'This tuna is being recalled. It contains seahorse.'

"And here is the quality control department for our deviled eggs."

Complaints clerk to consumer: A hair in your TV dinner? Maybe it belongs to a celebrity!

"Well TECHNICALLY he might be DEAD, but accordinh to the hospital's new patient satisfaction metrics he's pretty damned pleased about it."

"Could you spare a few minutes to give some feedback on your death experience?"

"It floated. I want my money back."

"I think these may be counterfeit bolts."

Impartial Testing: "Eeny, meeny, money, moe..."

Quality Contorl.

'Hey! This box of 'made in America' stickers has a sticker on it that says 'made in Taiwan'.'

Doll line: Quality Control - Too Creepy.

"...and into each box, we now put a tiny amount of antidote to counteract all the additives."

Benchmark

'I'm afraid we have to let you go, Carl, you're just an accident waiting to happen.'

'The scary part is, he's in charge of quality control.'

'They're doing their tests now?

'Don't worry. Big Al will take care of it.'

Complaints about how we handled your complaint.

No one liked working the red-eye shift.