Quality Assurance Professionals Gifts

Quality Assurance

Quality Control

'A problem with the Phase II trials. Everyone - all the people - was given the placebo, and no one got the drug.'

Quality Control

"We only got up to three 'whys' and a 'what the hell'."

"We're developing a plan to fix this."

'Okay, the motorized rocking chair could use an emergency off switch.'

Rust test in progress.

"Office of quality assurance"

'Our only option is to improve quality or hire more lawyers.'

'Due to budget cutbacks we are combining our annual employee dinner with The Seven Basic Quality Control Tools Training.'

Satis Factory Tour

"We're having a lot of trouble with this model, sir - it's lasting indefinitely."

"It says it's the vodka that's distilled twenty-nine times - they just can't seem to get it right."

'This tuna is being recalled. It contains seahorse.'

"It floated. I want my money back."

"I think these may be counterfeit bolts."

Complaints clerk to consumer: A hair in your TV dinner? Maybe it belongs to a celebrity!

"Well TECHNICALLY he might be DEAD, but accordinh to the hospital's new patient satisfaction metrics he's pretty damned pleased about it."

"Could you spare a few minutes to give some feedback on your death experience?"

"And here is the quality control department for our deviled eggs."

Impartial Testing: "Eeny, meeny, money, moe..."

Quality Contorl.

'Hey! This box of 'made in America' stickers has a sticker on it that says 'made in Taiwan'.'

Doll line: Quality Control - Too Creepy.

Benchmark

'They're doing their tests now?

'The scary part is, he's in charge of quality control.'

'I'm afraid we have to let you go, Carl, you're just an accident waiting to happen.'

"...and into each box, we now put a tiny amount of antidote to counteract all the additives."

'Don't worry. Big Al will take care of it.'

Agricultural Testing Station: 'Over 3 Billion Compounds Tested.'

Complaints about how we handled your complaint.