Quality Assurance Inspector Gifts

"Office of quality assurance"

F&E Parachutes. Chutes. Maybe not getting any call on our complaint line isn't a good thing!

'A problem with the Phase II trials. Everyone - all the people - was given the placebo, and no one got the drug.'

"We only got up to three 'whys' and a 'what the hell'."

"We're developing a plan to fix this."

"Eggshell in omelette make Hulk angry!"

Rust test in progress.

'Our only option is to improve quality or hire more lawyers.'

Party ville Trick Birthday Candles: Quality Control Department.,

'Due to budget cutbacks we are combining our annual employee dinner with The Seven Basic Quality Control Tools Training.'

"We're having a lot of trouble with this model, sir - it's lasting indefinitely."

"It says it's the vodka that's distilled twenty-nine times - they just can't seem to get it right."

'This tuna is being recalled. It contains seahorse.'

"Well TECHNICALLY he might be DEAD, but accordinh to the hospital's new patient satisfaction metrics he's pretty damned pleased about it."

"And here is the quality control department for our deviled eggs."

"I think these may be counterfeit bolts."

"It floated. I want my money back."

"Could you spare a few minutes to give some feedback on your death experience?"

Impartial Testing: "Eeny, meeny, money, moe..."

Complaints clerk to consumer: A hair in your TV dinner? Maybe it belongs to a celebrity!

Quality Contorl.

'Hey! This box of 'made in America' stickers has a sticker on it that says 'made in Taiwan'.'

Doll line: Quality Control - Too Creepy.

'The scary part is, he's in charge of quality control.'

Agricultural Testing Station: 'Over 3 Billion Compounds Tested.'

Auto Assembly. Ernie, I think they fired you because you were assigned to the assembly line but ere often at the high-speed test facility. I'm ambitious. I wanted to be on the fast track. Why did you remove brakes from cars? An article I read said that to achieve success you should "pull out all the stops." And I unnecessarily drove cars around the plant to show the bosses that I'm willing to "go the extra mile." But why did you refuse to deliver components to the assembly line? The arti

Benchmark

'They're doing their tests now?

"...and into each box, we now put a tiny amount of antidote to counteract all the additives."

'I'm afraid we have to let you go, Carl, you're just an accident waiting to happen.'

Complaints about how we handled your complaint.

Harry Potter toy manufacturer.

'Don't slam the door so hard.'

'One small point,Perkins-we don't STAMP on the sell-by dates here!'

'Sales of durable goods are down. Actually the sales numbers are the same, the goods just aren't as durable as they used to be.'