Quality Assurance Expert Gifts

'The quality controller has tested our latest product - he'll be out of the hospital in a few weeks...'

'A problem with the Phase II trials. Everyone - all the people - was given the placebo, and no one got the drug.'

GPC needs to make its new formula foolproof.

"We only got up to three 'whys' and a 'what the hell'."

"We're developing a plan to fix this."

Rust test in progress.

"Office of quality assurance"

"You question my methodology? Perhaps you should question your questionology."

'Our only option is to improve quality or hire more lawyers.'

Party ville Trick Birthday Candles: Quality Control Department.,

'Due to budget cutbacks we are combining our annual employee dinner with The Seven Basic Quality Control Tools Training.'

"We're having a lot of trouble with this model, sir - it's lasting indefinitely."

"It says it's the vodka that's distilled twenty-nine times - they just can't seem to get it right."

'This tuna is being recalled. It contains seahorse.'

"Could you spare a few minutes to give some feedback on your death experience?"

"It floated. I want my money back."

Impartial Testing: "Eeny, meeny, money, moe..."

"And here is the quality control department for our deviled eggs."

"Well TECHNICALLY he might be DEAD, but accordinh to the hospital's new patient satisfaction metrics he's pretty damned pleased about it."

"I think these may be counterfeit bolts."

Complaints clerk to consumer: A hair in your TV dinner? Maybe it belongs to a celebrity!

Quality Contorl.

'Hey! This box of 'made in America' stickers has a sticker on it that says 'made in Taiwan'.'

Doll line: Quality Control - Too Creepy.

'They're doing their tests now?

Agricultural Testing Station: 'Over 3 Billion Compounds Tested.'

'I'm afraid we have to let you go, Carl, you're just an accident waiting to happen.'

Auto Assembly. Ernie, I think they fired you because you were assigned to the assembly line but ere often at the high-speed test facility. I'm ambitious. I wanted to be on the fast track. Why did you remove brakes from cars? An article I read said that to achieve success you should "pull out all the stops." And I unnecessarily drove cars around the plant to show the bosses that I'm willing to "go the extra mile." But why did you refuse to deliver components to the assembly line? The arti

Benchmark

"...and into each box, we now put a tiny amount of antidote to counteract all the additives."

'The scary part is, he's in charge of quality control.'

Complaints about how we handled your complaint.

'Apparently it's not enough to say that 'lots of people think we do a jolly good job' anymore.'

Harry Potter toy manufacturer.

'Don't slam the door so hard.'