Quality Assurance Manager Pillows

'Apparently it's not enough to say that 'lots of people think we do a jolly good job' anymore.'

'A regulatory body is here to see you!'

"She says she's from Quality Control. We've failed the furniture inspection."

Suggestions Box

"Our problem is that because of inferior workmanship, our products don't have the built-in obsolescence we designed for them."

'Finnegan's hurt bad, sir -- a crate of warning labels fell on him!'

'When that automated message says, 'Your call may be monitored for quality assurance,' it's to keep the quality of our customer service low.'

"Now, I wonder whether you'd be kind enough to complete our customer feedback survey?"

Quality Control

'A problem with the Phase II trials. Everyone - all the people - was given the placebo, and no one got the drug.'

Quality Control

"We're developing a plan to fix this."

"We only got up to three 'whys' and a 'what the hell'."

'Okay, the motorized rocking chair could use an emergency off switch.'

Rust test in progress.

"Office of quality assurance"

'Our only option is to improve quality or hire more lawyers.'

'Due to budget cutbacks we are combining our annual employee dinner with The Seven Basic Quality Control Tools Training.'

"We're having a lot of trouble with this model, sir - it's lasting indefinitely."

"It says it's the vodka that's distilled twenty-nine times - they just can't seem to get it right."

'This tuna is being recalled. It contains seahorse.'

"And here is the quality control department for our deviled eggs."

Impartial Testing: "Eeny, meeny, money, moe..."

"I think these may be counterfeit bolts."

'How long have you had that toupee?'

"Could you spare a few minutes to give some feedback on your death experience?"

"Well TECHNICALLY he might be DEAD, but accordinh to the hospital's new patient satisfaction metrics he's pretty damned pleased about it."

Complaints clerk to consumer: A hair in your TV dinner? Maybe it belongs to a celebrity!

"It floated. I want my money back."

Quality Contorl.

'Hey! This box of 'made in America' stickers has a sticker on it that says 'made in Taiwan'.'

Doll line: Quality Control - Too Creepy.

Benchmark

"...and into each box, we now put a tiny amount of antidote to counteract all the additives."

'They're doing their tests now?