Quality Assurance Professional Pillows

Man hiding under office desk

Kwality Control

'This tuna is being recalled. It contains seahorse.'

"My gut tells me that we need some more tests..."

"Remember the good old days, when being busy was enough? All this new emphasis on productivity, quality control and measurable outcomes is making my head spin!"

Crash-Test Dummies

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Quality Control

'A problem with the Phase II trials. Everyone - all the people - was given the placebo, and no one got the drug.'

GPC needs to make its new formula foolproof.

Quality Control

"We only got up to three 'whys' and a 'what the hell'."

"We're developing a plan to fix this."

'Okay, the motorized rocking chair could use an emergency off switch.'

Rust test in progress.

"Office of quality assurance"

'Our only option is to improve quality or hire more lawyers.'

'Due to budget cutbacks we are combining our annual employee dinner with The Seven Basic Quality Control Tools Training.'

"We're having a lot of trouble with this model, sir - it's lasting indefinitely."

"It says it's the vodka that's distilled twenty-nine times - they just can't seem to get it right."

Impartial Testing: "Eeny, meeny, money, moe..."

"Well TECHNICALLY he might be DEAD, but accordinh to the hospital's new patient satisfaction metrics he's pretty damned pleased about it."

"And here is the quality control department for our deviled eggs."

"It floated. I want my money back."

Complaints clerk to consumer: A hair in your TV dinner? Maybe it belongs to a celebrity!

"I think these may be counterfeit bolts."

"Could you spare a few minutes to give some feedback on your death experience?"

Quality Contorl.

'Hey! This box of 'made in America' stickers has a sticker on it that says 'made in Taiwan'.'

Doll line: Quality Control - Too Creepy.

Benchmark

"...and into each box, we now put a tiny amount of antidote to counteract all the additives."

'The scary part is, he's in charge of quality control.'

'They're doing their tests now?

'I'm afraid we have to let you go, Carl, you're just an accident waiting to happen.'