Qualification Quoter Gifts

"Sorry, but you're overqualified."

"What's this for poorer stuff?"

'I'm not taking that money to buy drugs. I'm taking it to pay bribes if I'm caught with my drugs.'

"I have good news and bad news about your cat, Dr Schrodinger..."

"Would you like something you're under qualified for, or something you're overqualified for?"

'No, but thanks for asking.'

'I think I'm decisive. Can I get back to you on that?'

A Reasonable Time for Concern

'It says here you can talk trash in five languages.'

"You've got termites."

"These fish quotas are getting ridiculous."

'I got one this small.'

"I'm sorry, but you're under-overqualified and over-underqualified."

"Monogamy? In this economy?"

"You're not giving me the job because I'm 'over qualified'? Oh, don't worry, most of those qualifications have been falsified."

'It says 'three percent split infititives, 8 percent passive verbs, 16 percent compound-complex sentences,average sentence length 26 words,paperback rights $3.2 million,movie sales $8.3 million,total take $11.5 million,less 5 percent agents fees.'

'This is Liam, Dad, one of the few people with a degree in both tree hugging and extreme cartwheeling.'

Newly Qualified Teacher.

Qualifications

'I didn't say I majored in business administration - I said I took business administration.'

'I'm not sure that mentioning your diploma in 'Monkey Business' really helps your resume...'

'Center for rat race studies'

'Why don't you get Tommy to help you carry that?' 'He's inside there carrying the clothes.'

"I didn't get the job. They said I was over-qualified."

'Every second, billions of neutrinos pass through our bodies...of course they'll take longer to pass through yours, dear.'

'Being able to 'Raise the Dead' is all very well but I'm afraid it's not much use without the appropriate qualifications.'

"I see you have a N.V.Q and a M.B.A."

'I exaggerated on my resume and I was still underqualified.'

"Let's get married in the morning...then if it doesn't work out, we haven't blown the entire day."

400 words per minute! Is that typing or shredding?

"Just say what you have to say, Harwell, and get out."