Quantum Quoter Gifts

'Every second, billions of neutrinos pass through our bodies...of course they'll take longer to pass through yours, dear.'

"I have good news and bad news about your cat, Dr Schrodinger..."

"Up here, light is neither a particle nor a wave. It's a liquid."

"An un-observed universe ceases to exist. Yeah right!"

Schrodinger's Black Box

Macbeth: Take Two

'I'm not taking that money to buy drugs. I'm taking it to pay bribes if I'm caught with my drugs.'

"Quantum Physics"? How am I going to learn all of this stuff? A bit at a time?

"Of course you can't put your finger on it. It's a hypothetical particle."

Plant Parenthood...

'I think I'm decisive. Can I get back to you on that?'

"Scientists confirmed today that everything we know about the structure of the universe is wrongedy-wrong-wrong."

'I come from the future - any questions?'

Physics Improv. "I now vill be taking suggestions from ze audience..."

"All right, pal, I'm just saying, that's what I'd do if it was my Large Hadron Collider."

"The central digital platform is temporarily renamed Project Schrödinger’s Cat. Until it is accessed on the 24th February it both is and is not a working system."

'I was working on developing anti-matter under laboratory conditions, but I couldn't find anything to keep it in.'

"It's an interdimensional portal that can facilitate travel across both space and time... but we mostly use it for storage."

"We seem to be at that point where particle physics leaves of and theology begins."

"I'll have the 'All you can eat from the menu, the kitchen, and the dumpster' special."

'My God Pearson you're right. All these years the greates scientific minds have been looking for the theory of everything and all we had to do was Google it!'

"I'm catching up on my inertia."

Time Travel Research Lab

"You've got termites."

The Quantum Mechanic...

'It's not worth worrying about. There's nothing you can do about it. No two quarks in a small region can occupy the same quantum-mechanical state.'

'What I meant by 'quark' in 'Finnegans Wake' was a hypothetical particle with a fractional electric charge.

'Scientists claim they have found the 'God Particle'. In a related story, they are still looking for the 'Job Creator Particle'.'

The refinancing didn't come through -- I say we just walk away from the project.

"If Foucault's Pendulum is correct - 15 degrees per sidereal hour times the side of the latitude - then I'm an hour late for lunch."

'So, there really is a Higgs Boson?'

"It's not just you. Neutrinos are going right through everybody."

'Newton's fourth law - physicists congregate periodically in obscure European cities to have their picture taken, and then they quickly disperse.

'It says 'three percent split infititives, 8 percent passive verbs, 16 percent compound-complex sentences,average sentence length 26 words,paperback rights $3.2 million,movie sales $8.3 million,total take $11.5 million,less 5 percent agents fees.'

"Dark energy's hard to detect because it's made from happiness."