Quantum Quipsters Gifts

Large Hadron Colliider-scope

'What I meant by 'quark' in 'Finnegans Wake' was a hypothetical particle with a fractional electric charge.

Heisenberg Witness Protection Program

Inside the Large Hadron Collider

"Up here, light is neither a particle nor a wave. It's a liquid."

Man cutting hedge next to two heads impaled on sticks. Signs beneath say 'You missed a bit' and 'You can do mine next'.

"It's time to retire the word 'profit'."

WANTED Dead or Alive - Schrodinger's Cat.

"All dishes marked with an asterisk are served with sarcasm. . ."

"I have good news and bad news about your cat, Dr Schrodinger..."

'Is the water cold?'

"Of course you can't put your finger on it. It's a hypothetical particle."

Physics Improv. "I now vill be taking suggestions from ze audience..."

"I'm catching up on my inertia."

Schrodinger's kittens

Official Seal

The Quantum Mechanic...

You observed me speeding? Are you familiar with the Heisenberg uncertainty principle?

"If Foucault's Pendulum is correct - 15 degrees per sidereal hour times the side of the latitude - then I'm an hour late for lunch."

"Wife and two hernias to support!"

"It's not just you. Neutrinos are going right through everybody."

Dr. McPhee discovers the Embarrassment Particle.

'Actually I started out in quantum mechanics, but somewhere along the way I took a wrong turn.'

'I hope he didn't write the menu.' (Pub quizzers comment on poor grammar)

"We've agreed to count it as both a wave and a particle for tax purposes."

"Dr. Sykes is our expert in anti-matter."

"Houston....I've found the 'Plank Constant'."

Schrodinger's Weekly Shop.

Physicists at the Fourth Grotschlov Conference assembled to determine once and for all if light is a wave or a particle.

"Photons have mass, but their rest mass is zero."

'To cure your dog I suggest you change your aftershave lotion, Mr Lutshbuddle.'

Quantum Breakup

Physicists' Convention: Quantum Leap.

"What's come over Heisenberg? He seems to be certain about everything these days."